Just for me

ME for a change trying to get a good headshot for the Melb Writer's Festival where I look smart and pretty ya know
At Daiso again, I am obsessed
New badge, from the Best Western uniform in the '70s, resting on some new knitted dresses I bought too
'70s lunchbox I bought from Savers, I love it!
An amazing '70s quilt at Savers that I didn't buy because thoughts of all the dust mites living in there turned me off...
Barbara Cartland
A box with stationary in it
Doing work on the floor this arvo
I had a pretty nice weekend this weekend, albeit busy. Lots of socialising on Saturday in between dodging the rain, I caught up with a couple of different people and ended up going to the opening of 'Lifestyle Concepts' at Daine Singer that afternoon. It was fun! On Sunday I helped my Mum out at her florist shop, because it was Mother's Day which is pretty much the busiest day of the year for florists. I was so tired by the end of the day, I haven't done customer service stuff in so long and it's exhausting. I've been spoilt sitting at my own desk all day not having to talk to anyone.

I've had this thought more recently that worries me slightly, as I've started to work on new stuff for upcoming exhibitions (in August and September, incase you were wondering) and it's a thought that perhaps, my work will stay the same, thus becoming uninteresting for the people who look at it, and for myself. My biggest fear is that I will get stuck in one way of making, and never make anything challenging again. I think I will feel fresher when I move into my Gertrude Studio in December, but in the meantime I sort of feel like I need to shake things up a bit. I mean, I understand that my work will always harbor a similar aesthetic and *vibe* but with each exhibition I have, I want it to be better than the last. I don't want plateaus, I don't want continuously good, I want my work to be consistently BETTER. I guess that's complicated because *better* is only defined by my own idea of it, but I guess my own satisfaction seeps through to how others perceive the work, maybe. Eh it's complicated. Basically I don't wanna have déjà vu each time I buckle down and make work for an exhibition. I want it to feel different and come from a different place. Then, I'll be charting uncharted territory, thus challenging myself and making something that stands alone from what I have before.

Another thing that's been on my mind from the past few days is an odd dream I had, that I recounted very early in the morning in the notes section of my iphone. Here is what I wrote (unedited)

Dream where I was in like St Andrews* or somewhere in an old country house that was weatherboard and rambling and it was hot, I think, and a beautiful day. The house was on top of a hill looking out over a forever valley and other hills. We were staying in the house, and it happened to be infested with snakes, one in particular that was bothering me - a silver python that was curled up next to a bed, the silver was sort of flaking off like gold leaf or something. I didn't want to disturb this snake. We had signs outside warning of the snakes, particularly signs that said 'NO DOGS' because the dogs would get bitten by the snakes. There was a little dog running around outside that I was trying to get back, when I looked out over the valley, and it was so green and beautiful, but very Australian green like a dusty green, and I saw a black stallion rearing in the distance. I commented on how beautiful that image was, like a postcard, and then it came closer and I realised that Frank Sinatra was riding the horse and he was in black and white and he looked like he looked in that photo I have of him when he was young and wearing that sailor hat. It was odd that he was in black and white and I rushed over saying "Oh god, it's Frank Sinatra" or something, and that's all I remember...

* St Andrews is small town near me where I used to go to Pony Club and ride my horse when I was growing up.

Hmm. That metallic silver python has stayed with me, as has the image of the black stallion rearing.

Till next time I guess! x
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This dream is all that I need cause its all that I ever had